Herbert F. Kornfeld RIP : 1973-2007

May 4, 2007 at 10:34 am | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

White-On-White Violence Claims Life Of Accounts Receivable Supervisor
Herbert F. Kornfeld, 34, was an alleged accounting gang leader considered by law enforcement to be a key player in a series of ongoing office worker turf wars. He was found dead Monday morning in the third-floor copy room of Midstate Office Supply, his employer of 12 years.

Sadly, I never met Kornfeld or had the opportunity to hear him speak, but I read his columns avidly. It was his raw, fresh-from-the-streets prose that first brought my attention to The Onion back in 1996, when a friend thrust a copy of one of Kornfeld’s essays before me. I was mesmerized. Kornfeld hasn’t been contributing much lately, his first piece since 2005 was published just last week where he recounted the recent rise of the increasingly volatile Accounts Payable department and the troubles he was having with the new generation of his Accounts Receivable bruthas. Kornfeld seemed distraught, but knowing what a stone cold muthafucka he is, I figured he would come to a measured, reasonable solution to the issues plaguing Midstate. He had survived so much, for so long, I always though he would achieve his dream of retiring to Branson, MO with his son, Tanner, now 7. I never could have imagined he would go out like this. Such a tragedy.

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